Red and Blue Crew Starts Practicing "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" Chant

"The Buzz" reports that we may have an Aussie in our midst very soon. The Quakers appear to be close to getting the services of 6'6 G/F Sean Mullan (NSW Illawara Hawks).

For the record, I only know a couple of Australian basketball players: Andrew Bogut and Luke Schenscher.

Latest Departure Blamed On Last Week's Palestra KKK Meeting

Garvin Hunt has confirmed to the DP that he will not be on the team next year.

And, like clockwork, the debate reignited on the discussion boards over Coach Miller's racist leanings. While news of three black players leaving many other programs would be considered as normal frictional attrition, it's a wee bit more sensitive over here because it leaves our team whiter than an albino zebra. The few stripes in the back are for Darren Smith and Malcolm Washington.

I'm not a registered poster on the discussion boards, so I will weigh in here. Frankly, a lot of newer posters on the board are making absolutely ludicrous claims. I've criticized Coach's in-season performance and griped about his inability to get more local talent, but to suggest that Coach Miller cannot connect his black players is stupid, and its not a theory even this writer of Fire Glen Miller can contemplate. Never mind the many players from different backgrounds who passed through his care at UConn and Brown, I don't think there's anything different in the way Garvin Hunt and Zack Rosen want to be treated, and I don't think it's possible Miller treated anyone differently based on race.

What I might see as more reasonable is Miller's potential disconnect with the players who feel like they've been wasted (Cofield), marginalized (Gaines), and maybe forgotten (Hunt). And I'm afraid this problem has infected the whole locker room, not just a certain race. And if these departures have hurt the team chemistry, then it is a problem that should be blamed on Miller and it is a serious topic that merits discussion on the boards.

The most interesting development on that thread and the board is the participation of a player, "PennBall," who has weighed in on the accusations and suggestions. It could be the poet Justin Reilly, and I hope its Smith. Or there is a chance it could be an imposter (you never know). In any case, he is incensed and "tired of seeing his coach getting ripped on for ludicrous things." He can't possibly be talking about us, could he?

If it is a true player, keep notice on how Miller closes him down, much like Andreas Schreiber's blog. Miller should really give his players an avenue where they could write to the fans. This is an Ivy League program. The players know how to and want to write. Miller should allow them to do it in a controlled setting.

"Transformers 2" Could Single-Handedly Restart The Penn-Princeton Rivalry

Michael Bay has done it again.

While his action-packed works like Bad Boys (I and II), The Rock, Armageddon, Transformers, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre have directly invigorated American cinema, he now turns toward resurrecting a decades-old Ivy tradition laced with ivory towers, trust funds, and cognac.

By confusing Penn as Princeton, and Princeton as Penn, Michael Bay may have just resurrected the dying Penn-Princeton rivalry.

In this Transformers 2 movie trailer (sorry about the dimensions, working on that), an initial aerial shot of Princeton's campus segues into a scene that is clearly in The Quad.



There were rumors going around that Shia LeBeouf's character would be attending "Princeton" in the movie, even though all the filming would occur on Penn's infinitely more gorgeous campus, and those rumors are looking more and more like truth. Either way, both schools can agree that Shia LeBeouf would be waitlisted in real life, at best.

Could the rivalry move from battling for basketball championships to fighting for the graces of Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox?

Other FGM News:

- Andrew Scurria calls Glen Miller a "poor politician." Here's to hoping he runs against Arlen Specter in the senatorial primaries.

- Andrew Todres confirms that Miller and Penn aren't exactly golfing buddies.

Town Hall Review

A few of our award-winning FGM correspondents just got back from the "First Annual" Penn Basketball Town Hall meeting. It was a pleasant affair, and just a little kinder than your standard Comedy Central roast. Contrary to inital reports, no blood was shed on either side and both sides came out declaring themselves the victor.

In truth, the event was a great way for Miller, Bilsky, and the alumni/donors to interact. Held in the swanky Inn at Penn, the check-in desk was professional, the Penn Athletics managers were out in force, and the breakfast spread was superb. But I digress. I guess people might be more interested in the actual reason for the "town hall."

Glen Miller. Seemed a little hesitant at first facing the wolves, but not as tentative as the audience, who seemed terrified to actually harp their grievings in front of The Man himself. But once the first questions got the ball rolling, the old alumni in attendance certainly wrought their thunder on Miller and AD Steve Bilsky.

There seems to be a bit of a generational gap between the 45 or so alumni there and the 5 students there. Like at least 30 years or so...hmmm....1979 Final Four? Certainly most of people there had just been weaned off of the glory years and were noticeably perturbed by the current state of the program. Not sure what the minimum donation was to get in the door, but I recognized many of the notable names on the tags in the room.

The most contentious discussions at the forum did not concern Miller at all. Bilsky had to answer angry attendees on the bad microphones at the event, technology issues regarding online game streaming, University support of the program, and our favorite topic, falling student attendance. Here are some of the highlights of this morning's town hall, if you weren't able to go:

Introduction

Apparently Miller is a golfing man. He remarked on the awesome weather to the crowd, much like a awkward spouse would do after a fight the previous night. And awkward it was. Miller told the crowd that he "shared their disappointment," but said that "its behind us."

Recruiting

The first question was a softball one, asking about the current recruiting class. Miller named three verbal commits, Carson Sullivan, Brian Fitzpatrick, and Malcolm Washington. With Sullivan, Miller said he was excited that Carson had the potential to give Rosen some help next year so that he wouldn't have to go a full 40 minutes. Miller regarded Washington as a "preferred walk-on." Malcolm was apparently set on going to Penn anyways, and Coach said he was excited about the 5-9 "fireball" with "great work ethic and passion." Miller remarked that it's always difficult to see how a guy pans out, and was intrigued by his potential. Finally, he said that he was continuing to bring recruits and potential transfers to campus, and specifically looking for a "front-court player" to round out a "solid" class.

Further questions were on the state of local ties with Philly and NYC area high schools and which schools exactly compete with Penn on the recruiting trail. Regarding criticism that the program had weakened ties with local area high schools, Miller maintained that ties have never been stronger. Miller hinted that they were working to get a couple of local area players for next year's class who had "first team" All-Ivy potential. On the second question, Miller revealed that Carson Sullivan had selected Penn ED in spite of a big effort from Princeton, who Coach said targeted Sullivan as their "top recruit." Overall, the program viewed Harvard as their most intense recruiting rival in the Ivys, but that good academic schools that gave scholarships like Stanford, Vanderbilt, Notre Dame, and Rutgers presented a recruiting challenge overall and had stolen more than a few recruits in the past. This wasn't a surprise. Stupid scholarships.

Scheduling

Miller confirmed non-conference dates at Penn State, with Lafayette, and with Monmouth next season, in addition to the Ivy and Big 5 slates. There will be no Christmas tournament next year. Miller said that three non-conference slots were still being negotiated, including a potential date with a "high major" team. Could Penn be hitting Tobacco Road again?

Next Season's Expectations

Miller stated that the goals would not change. Ivy championships, NCAA berth, winning in the NCAA tournament. And he said those goals were "realistic," especially given that the team would be playing with a "chip on its shoulder." No word on whether that "chip" would inspire better defensive rotation against Cornell.

In a follow-up question, Miller directly rebutted a question in the audience, who asked him about his comments on a "lack of senior leadership" earlier in the season. He claimed that it was a misquote and that Votel, Egee, Lewis, and Cohen had done a great job in a tough season.

Transfers During the Past Season

A DP guy asked Miller a question about Harrison Gaines' comments after his transfer decision at the end of the season. Miller was disappointed that Gaines felt like Penn was not a "good fit." He referred back to the attempts to play both Gaines and Rosen at the same time on the floor, but that Zack was the natural PG, and Gaines "played better as the 2." Miller concluded that the program uses their own evaluation and cultivation systems to see which recruits will be good fits for the program and works at length to build a strong relationship with each player. That evaluation system will obviously be looked at this offseason.

Overall, Miller cautioned the crowd to look at the pattern of transfers at other schools, naming both Ivy schools and large national programs.

Does the University administration do enough for the program?

This question was posed by Mr. Belcore, and inspired the most intriguing back-and-forth of the entire session. As a program parent, Mr. Belcore was concerned that the administration did not do enough to accomodate the special needs of the players, specifically the desire to allow athletes to have scheduling priority for classes to fit their training schedules. Steve Bilsky responded that the Ivy League's mantra since the start has been that "students need to be like other students." Mr. Belcore responded by asserting that the University as a whole would have to offer "academic incentives" to entice top pro-ready recruits to attend the school, so that Penn would have a chance of becoming a national program again and "beating North Carolina." Another member of the audience promptly remarked that it would good to just beat Penn State, Columbia, and Princeton in a year.

As an observer, I was happy to see Bilsky take a strong stance during this section of the Q&A. Bilsky maintained that he felt that the strength of the athletic program/facilities and that the marquee reputation of the University would be enough to attract quality talent to the program. I personally agreed with Bilsky. While I would hope that athletes' specific needs are addressed, I don't think setting athletes apart from the student population is a necessary step. Most basketball players are not recognized by the students, and feedback from a decision to raise the athletes' needs above other students would be met with criticism from student government, DP editorials, and students in general. As a student, I was very surprised by some of the ideas thrown out by the older alumni. Times must have been different back then. Although I did take exception to Bilsky's statement that Penn Dining "is very good."

I also enjoyed the shocked murmurs from the alumni when Bilsky remarked that professors did not want to teach in the morning anymore and wanted to teach at their own preferred times. Times must really have been different back then. But I gladly take my 4:30 Marketing 101 section.

Student Support (or lack of it)

Miller said the key to getting the students back was that "everyone wants to see a winner." He said an "excited brand of basketball" would allow the Palestra to compete with the myriad of student entertainment options in Philly. Bilsky added that student attendance issues are facing every school and sport, except for SEC football.

The entire crowd seemed to be very concerned especially about the empty Red and Blue Crew sections during this past season.

Town Hall Meeting Tomorrow @ 10:30 AM

Tantamount to a tardy reminder e-mail, here is late notice that the Town Hall forum with Coach Miller is tomorrow at the Inn at Penn at 10:30 AM. I guess you need to have RSVPed in advance to get to ask Glen your burning questions.

No word yet on how my correspondent is going to get a laptop into the place to do a live blog. Maybe "The Buzz" has us covered.

The Stalker

Two Glen Miller offseason sightings thus far with potential recruits!

You knew we wouldn't be able to leave that guy alone. We're like the Penn basketball version of TMZ.

First, last Friday, Glen Miller spotted walking out of Houston Hall alongside someone in basketball sweats. Didn't look like a current Penn player, so we can only assume that Miller was wowing the high schooler with Einstein Bros. The kid...how do we say it...looked like he could ball.

Second, today, Glen Miller spotted exploring Pottruck Fitness Center with a recruit and his family. Or Coach could have just been showing his family around on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day. Which happens to be today. Here's me assuming Glen Miller's son isn't a 6'6" high school senior. Whoever the kid was, he was impressed with the climbing wall.

What does this incredibly unofficial and inaccurate Stalker report prove?

A. Coach isn't slacking off during the offseason. Or at least he's on campus.

B. We might actually have a few more recruits to fill out the class of 2013.

See you at the town hall on Sunday.

Edit (4/25)
Glen Miller spotted going into Huntsman Hall with another recruit and assistant coach John Gallagher on Friday. Clearly someone has his eye on going to Wharton. Coach must be taking advantage of the Penn Relays to showcase the school.

Losing, And Still Having Fun

With the crowning of the national champions, our blog season ends as well. Disregarding the early December start, we've officially completed our first season in existence. Unlike the joy of other programs, nothing about the Penn basketball program has changed since we started the "Fire Glen Miller" blog. Coach Miller is still employed, student attendance remained sparse, and the Quakers kept losing from start to end. In fact, the health and outlook on the program has grown worse, and animosity between fans and the coaches and administration have risen to lethal levels. FGM didn't initate any change, nor did it set out to achieve anything like that. But by writing FGM, I gained a little something. By dedicating hours toward writing an aimless blog about a marginally important basketball team during one of their worst seasons in history, I definitely learned a lot about patience, perseverance, and creative manipulation skills. But more than that, I learned a lot about why people still care about Penn basketball.

I started writing out of blind anger. But through the comments and strongly worded e-mails I received, I found out that I wasn't alone. I hope that everyone who has read the site and commented has also found out that they weren't alone in, er, questioning Coach's credentials. People showed that they cared, even if that care was slightly misplaced. So I kept writing. And I kept meeting more and more people connected to the program in some way. And, some how, by writing a blog about disconnect and disinterest, my attachment to Penn basketball has grown stronger over the course of a terrible season. Oh Penn! You are my heroin. I just can't quit you, no matter how much damage your terrible basketball does to my eyes, my heart, and my wallet!

I also realized why lonely sports fans blog. It's not because they have nothing going on Friday nights after Ivy games. Blogs give them a way of extending their experience and interacting directly with their team.

Okay. I had nothing going on Friday nights. But in my defense, the ZBT party wasn't going to be fun anyways.

And this blog has brought bright moments of its own during these dark times. Correspondence from a former player. The opportunity to solicit rollouts. The chance to manipulate fact. The way to get a DP interview. The honor to spar with the DP. And winning.

Yes, winning. The print version of the DP finally acknowledged us. Nothing in the world is true unless the DP says so, even if its a joke issue. Then they did us the ultimate dishonor by misprinting our URL, causing millions of readers to go to an invalid address. And then called us out. They got us, they're right. All we do is reprint the news. And make it interesting.

But the Direction of Athletics Communication can say whatever he damn well pleases.

I digress. I leave you this season unsatisfied about the past season and not at all hopeful about the future, but still looking forward to whatever Glen Miller pulls out of the jacket on the back of his chair. I hope you enjoyed the blog this season, and I'll do everything in my power to prevent Penn Athletics from shutting me down before next season. I'll leave you post here and there over the summer. Thanks, readers.

Fight on,
Magnum